familybush.com

How much longer will you waver, hobbling between two opinions? If the LORD is God, follow him! But if Baal is God, then follow him! (1Kings 18)

But the people were completely silent.

It was only a few hours later that the LORD completely consumed the water-soaked alter with fire. The people, the very ones that were silent, fell down on their faces and cried out, “The LORD – he is God! Yes, the LORD is God!

Even after 10 years of following Jesus, the same question Elijah asked is asked of me.

How much longer . . . ?

If the LORD is God, follow him!

But if your ambition is God, then follow it!

But if a good job is God, then follow it!

But if you are God, then follow yourself!

But if seminary studies is God, then follow them!

But if facebook is God, then follow it!

But if your fears are God, then follow them!

But if your worries are God, then follow them!

The LORD – he is God! Yes, the LORD is God!

I go through life as a transient on his way to eternity, made in the image of God but with that image debased, needing to be taught how to meditate, to worship, to think.

Donald Coggan

Carlos wrote this a few days ago. It’s good stuff. Take a look.

I’m in verse 2 and I look to my left and am hit like a blind side pick and roll.
Swaying on the front row was a guy I later learned was named Matt.
Standing in front of him was another guy named Jefferson.
It was a moment that stands out above all else in my 11 years of leading worship.
You see Matt and Jefferson were worshipping God, together.
Literally.
Jefferson has severe cerebral palsy. He has little, if any control over his body.
Matt was standing behind Jefferson.
Holding Jefferson.
20 minutes.
Dancing with Jefferson and singing at the top of his lungs.
Jefferson was singing too. I think could hear him.
And it was the most beautiful song I have ever heard.

God—you’re my God! I can’t get enough of you!
I’ve worked up such hunger and thirst for God,
traveling across dry and weary deserts.

So here I am in the place of worship, eyes open,
drinking in your strength and glory.
In your generous love I am really living at last!
My lips brim praises like fountains.
I bless you every time I take a breath;
My arms wave like banners of praise to you.

It’s weird. I really don’t understand why things go like this. I truly do want to follow Jesus and give him every corner of my life. And, there are days when I feel like I’m really close to him and I can see him working in my life and every conversation becomes a prayer and every movement becomes an act of worship.

Then, things change. I don’t feel him. I don’t see him working. Prayer is limited to a forced few minutes a day. Worship becomes an arduous chore.

Why?

Dave H. and I were talking about it. He said the same thing happens to him.

Why would something so satisfying and meaningful (walking with Jesus) get buried under daily routine?? Is walking with Jesus, practicing his presence, supposed to be forced sometimes? I’m really not sure. I don’t want to try to ‘recreate’ times like those just to feel good.

I don’t know . . . . it’s all kind of confusing to me at the moment.

And I have that butterfly feeling in my stomach. I am so excited. And I’m kind of scared. I’m not sure why. I just feel nervous about what it is going to feel like.

We’ll arrive in Lima late tomorrow night. Sunday morning we will begin our journey south on the PanAmerican. I have been communicating with some of the missionaries there and it looks like we might be carrying a load to them at base camp in Ica.

Several of the missionaries are basically living in Ica while they help rebuild and they are in constant need of supplies.

To me, this all feels like a very worshipful experience. Like I’m about to tread on holy ground. These butterflies in my stomach keep turning my heart towards Jesus. I guess because he is who I have to lean on.

The other Promise House houseparent is going on medical leave starting tomorrow. That means the Bush family will be on duty, 24/7, for about 3 weeks straight. And it starts off with a bang. Tomorrow one of the girls is scheduled to be induced. Then, Tuesday we’ll be admitting two new girls into the home. Then, we’ve got to get everybody prepared for the new school year which starts next Monday.

We took this weekend to get our ducks in a row and make sure that our focus is right. When our hearts aren’t in awe of Jesus, this job gets grueling. But, when we offer up every activity and interaction as worship to him . . . it starts to be abundant life. God is good.

Brother Lawrence said that it should be our goal to become the most perfect worshipers of Christ possible. And by perfect, he meant the continuous act of worship. To him, being a perfect worshiper meant having the capacity and inclination to offer up washing the dishes as worship to Jesus . . . or brushing one’s teeth, changing diapers, buying groceries, driving one’s car, eating dinner, reading a book, writing a blog, sleeping, taking out the trash, checking email, cleaning the bathroom, etc. . . . Get the idea?

So, last nite we worshiped. Intentionally put aside some time to tell Jesus how much we love and need him. It’s amazing to see how well these girls do in the Promise House. God is working in their lives. They are singing to Jesus. They are recognizing areas in their lives that they need to change. And, best of all, they are realizing they need God. That life without him really isn’t life at all.

This is a hard job. We knew that coming in, but we didn’t know it. You can only know how hard it is by doing it. But . . . the amazing thing is that God has given us the heart to do it. We very much enjoy the job, despite its hardness.

We’re getting dirty . . . . because we’re getting involved in messy lives. Real messy. About as messy as they come. And sometimes we find ourselves asking “Jesus, why did you put us here? What have you gotten us into?” To me, he always seems to say things like:

It’s not about you.
I love these girls as much as I love you.
These are the kinds of lives I got involved in when I was on earth.

So we keep on keeping on in a spirit of worship and thankfulness. Jesus put us here and it’s a joy to work hard in his orchard.

Well, first of all I have to give a shout out to my seventh graders: Riley Roberts and Laura Shuler. If some unnamed twins would ever e-mail me, they would get a shout out too!!!

Ryan already talked about our worship service yesterday. We have been divided into small groups for worship. The purpose behind this is to help us get used to worshipping in a smaller setting. Many places we are going won’t have organized churches for us to attend.

Our worship time went really well. I enjoyed it a lot. My favorite part was when the family played the violin for us. The youngest is seven, and she has been playing the violin since she was three and a half. The Dad was a music teacher, and has played and taught the violin for years. This family is going to Brazil, and they seem really neat. They seem like the kind of family I want to have someday–close to Jesus and close to each other.

Last night, as Ryan already mentioned, we had a ceremony with all the families. We all went up to a huge map and put our pictures on the country we are going to. It was so neat. It was my favorite thing we’ve done so far. It was neat to see the families go up there together. I liked seeing the kids excited to place the picture on the map. We all also shared a prayer request when we went up front. There are some heavy burdens and requests people are dealing with. It is pretty amazing to see obedience to Christ in light of what some are dealing with.

I have missed home. Oddly enough, my brother is who I have missed most. (Sorry Mom) He is a great friend and someone I look up to a lot. Even though I miss my family and friends, I am loving being here. God is gracious. He has called us, and he will be faithful to give us the strength to follow Him.

Amanda