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When faith ceases to pray, it ceases to live.

E.M. Bounds

My life feels like a process of losing myself, so I can find myself. Losing my life in order to find it . . .

I am giving up my rights, dreams, preferences, ambitions. Not just to be willing to surrender those things, but to actually do it.

Funny thing is when I empty myself of me I find myself being filled with what really matters.

Above all I am giving control of my life to God. He has ransomed me and has every right to move me, transform me, discipline me. Giving myself to him occupies the highest priority in my life.

I am also giving myself to my family. God has placed Amanda, Sophia, and Samuel under my watchcare. It is with them that I experience life, the simple and profound, the mundane and extraordinary. My whole life is completely wrapped up in them. Taking care of them is second only to walking with Jesus. The two aren’t mutually exclusive. They go hand in hand.

I am pouring myself out for my neighbor. In this stage in my life my neighbor lives 10 minutes away and speaks mostly Spanish. God has placed compulsion and call in my heart to make myself available to him to plant a Hispanic church.

Words have power. They build and destroy, heal and hurt. Words transform.

Listen to what God says through Isaiah (43) to those that are his:

I have ransomed you.

I have called you by name.

You are mine.

I will be with you.

You are precious to me.

You are honored.

I love you.

For those who are in Christ, every last syllable is true.

For those who are in Christ and live believing what God said through Isaiah, transformation is occurring.

I am a church planter.

I get a bit unnerved just saying that, but it’s true.

It’s not true because I decided that I should be one. It’s not true because an organization gave me that title. It’s not even true because I have planted a church before.

It’s true because that’s the job God has set before me. A church planter is what God has called me.

So, I’m learning to call myself that. It’s getting less and less strange to say because I am slowly becoming more and more confident in Him.

Needless to say, if I were depending upon myself to do this, I’d be in a hot mess.

This summer God used two experiences to begin a revolution in my heart and mind. I began to see myself fitting into God’s activity on earth in a whole new light. I felt compelled to get out in the community, start knocking on doors, walk with people through the truths of Scripture, and fold them into a congregation. I wanted to work with Latinos, but I didn’t know where or when or if I even should. But, this compulsion wouldn’t go away. I didn’t really want it to.

So, I started. I climbed into our 1994 Ford Aerostar and started driving. I had no idea where to go, but I couldn’t sit around any longer. I said “God if you want me to do this, you’ve got to show me where.”

He did.

I went down a street and came upon a small house that had a gaggle of kids playing in the front yard. They were Hispanic. It seemed like there were hundreds. It was like God said, “Start here.” I was 5 minutes from the front door of my apartment.

That was back in early September. Since then I have mapped over 100 Latino homes and visited more than 30. I have started two Bible studies in homes. And, I’ve learned a ton. The most important lesson? That I am completely and utterly dependent upon the power of the Spirit. Jesus is my sufficiency and motivation.

I am a church planter.

It’s been a long time since I have felt like this. God has asked me to do something and I feel completely inadequate and overwhelmed. Yet, I feel completely confident and hopeful. God doesn’t just call, he sustains and guides and empowers.

You’ll be hearing a lot more about this adventure. Feel free to email me if you have any questions about it.

A lot of people ask me the same question in one form or the other.

“What are you studying to be at seminary?” or “What are your plans after seminary?” or “What are you going to seminary for?”

It’s a fair question. I’ve probably asked it myself. But, the funny thing is I don’t really think of my time here in that way. I’m not here to go anywhere. I’m here because this is where Jesus put me. I’m not here to leave. I’m here to lift him high.

Yes, we do have plans/leadings/guidance (and an anticipated graduation date). If I didn’t, I wouldn’t be getting a Masters of Missiology. However, being a missionary doesn’t start when (if) my feet hit some foreign soil. It’s now. After all, this is foreign soil. My mission is clear, and it starts now.

I’m studying to be a better cross-cultural worker. But, that’s secondary. I’m here to lift him high in obedience and faith.

Sometimes the most impacting stuff professors say are on rabbit trails. Here are a few nuggets from Dr. May’s Issues of Missiology class last week.

. . . on praying for others:

Prayer is me getting to invest in your life. Prayer is me standing beside you in the spiritual realm to help you fight the battles going on in your life.

. . . on repentance:

Repentance is a life of continual course correction towards God.

. . . on faith:

Faith is trusting in his blood for forgiveness and his Spirit for empowerment.

I had the opportunity to be part of the Preview Day program last week at MABTS. That’s a picture of Britt Taylor leading the group in worship.

One couple shared with me how the lifeatmabts blog had impacted them and that God had used it to lead them to Mid-America. Wow. That was humbling.

Being with these folks who were excited about a new chapter and still trying to figure out exactly what God wanted for them helped me remember. God has been so good to us. He has walked with us every single step. Though we couldn’t always see where we were going, he never let us go. And he never will.

I guess that’s what faith is. Moving forward in obedience to him no matter if you can see or not. Because it doesn’t matter if you’ve got it figured out, what matters is that he doesn’t let go.

. . . these past three weeks have absolutely flown by. It’s been hard to get into a “sabbath rhythm.” We’re so busy learning Spanish, meeting new people, figuring out how to buy eggs, that it’s easy to forget why we’re here.

Yesterday, I started reading “Don’t Waste Your Life” by John Piper. I’ve only read a few chapters but it’s already helping me to focus in on who I am/why I am here. In a nutshell: The Bush Family is in Peru to glorify Christ through a fully devoted life to Him.

It’s weird, because that changes everything and at the same time it changes almost nothing. We still go buy eggs, learn spanish, and meet new people. But, we do it in the Spirit. We do it with a passion for His glory and with our eyes wide open for his direction. We do it with a grateful heart and a sense of deeper purpose.

However, the habit of living life in relationship to God, in EVERYTHING, only flows from times of intimacy with Him. It only happens when we are spending time in his word. Spending time talking to Him. So this is what we need to focus on: Knowing Him.

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I like to write. That comes in handy in seminary. It has also come in handy in a lot of other ways. It’s astounding to look back to acknowledge all the way that God has provided for us here at MABTS. It’s no secret that for a lot of folks coming to seminary is a lot like Abraham leaving Ur. No job. No friends. No security. Just obedience.

Back to writing. I randomly sent an article to HomeLife Magazine in late 2007 just to see what would happen. They bought it and published it. No kidding. I couldn’t believe it.

Since I’ve been at MABTS, I’ve written two more articles for HomeLife. The first is coming out in July. The story started out as a ramble a while back. It was written over a year ago while we still lived at the Promise House. It’s now more applicable to my life than ever before.