Far from the monastery I am.
| December 30th, 2007I feel like a jumbled mass of motives and wants and intentions all pulling me in a different direction. My life feels messy. I guess that’s probably just how life is. Just like a big bowl of spaghetti.
Sometimes I think following God equals being in solitude, saying prayers, and thinking only of ‘heavenly things‘. But, that’s not it at all. Not by a long shot. God is so much more organic and creative and messy than that. Far from the monastery I am. Instead of solitude I live in a house full of voices and feelings and emotions. Instead of ‘heavenly things’ I am obliged to think about dirty diapers, hurting teenagers, and hot dogs on the grill. Instead of long, deep-voiced prayers my conversation with God usually amounts too “Help me God!”.
My life is messy. Yet, through all these things I am with God and he is with me. He is speaking to me. He is teaching me. He is shaping me. All of that happens by means of the things he has me doing everyday . . . not in spite of them.
Oh, man. My life feels like spaghetti too and I don’t have near as much on my plate (pun intended) as you do. There is a book called Messy Spirituality by an author called Yaconelli. My husband read it–I haven’t. He said it was a little less conservative than he expected but it wasn’t a bad read. You might want to check it out sometime.
I feel closest to God when my life is messy. I love that about him. He always reaches down when we start sinking under. God bless this messy New Year….right? Haha!
Susan » That’s awesome. “I feel closest to God when my life is messy.” I’m gonna have to remember that. Good stuff.